In Praise of The Clones of Bruce Lee Part II

 

Our look at the wonderful world of Bruceploitation continues with a group of clones who didn’t last long on the scene.

One and done clones would include:

• Gyro Lee, Ajax Danielopoulos, a weak punching, hairy Greek, whose one starring vehicle, THE DRAGON GOES TO ATHENS (1976), stalled from the get-go.  The only thing of note is the soundtrack which generously borrowed music cues from THE EIGER SANCTION (1975), THE MECHANIC (1972) and even the themes from the game show MATCH GAME and cartoon TENNESSEE TUXEDO.

• Fedora Lee, who of course, wore a fedora and had his hands full in trying to corral a mischievous group of youngsters in THE SHAOLIN RASCALS (1977) aka WEE TANG RASCALS.

• Bruce Lee Majors, who made quite the non-impression in ENTER THE BIONIC DRAGON (1977).

Review from the bionic film reviewer ISSUE #45-March 1981

ENTER THE BIONIC DRAGON started off with great promise but soon fizzled out like a faulty firecracker. Just one big dud.   Judging by his name, the star, Bruce Lee Majors is doing his best to summon both Bruce Lee and Lee Majors . . .  He fails miserably at both summoning tasks, mainly due to having the personality of a wet dish rag.  He also has a full head of fire engine red hair that looks absolutely preposterous.  Bruce Lee Majors plays a top Interpol agent who, in a pre-credit sequence, is involved in a well filmed motorcycle chase scene which ends with him careening off of a hill.  Interpol does not want to lose their top man, so they give the go ahead for him to be operated on and become the first Bionic man.  Much like the original, he is given bionic implants in both legs, one arm, one eye and one ear, thus turning him into a superhuman secret agent.  At one point a character calls him a “Bionic Bond”.  At another point a bad guy calls him a “Bionic Boob”.  The latter description seems to fit best, and the paying audience seems to be the boob in this scenario.

There were four clones named after types of cheeses, who are known collectively as the “Bruce Lee  Cheese Clones”.

• Camembert Lee, who had a bit part in TO KILL A KUNG FU MAN (1978), has not been identified, nor has he come forward to prove his cloneness.

• Feta Lee who was a strong likable lead in FOR A FISTFUL OF FETA (1978), was Han Ming-Peng, a Taiwanese martial artist, who also had small but memorable  roles in BROTHERS OF THE THUNDERBOLT FIST (1977), THE MASTER OF SPIRITUAL BOXING (1978), had a non-fighting role in a mad cap comedy called KUNG FU HUSTLERS (1981) aka THE MAN WITH THE KUNG FU SMILE, and lastly, what Ancient Astronaut/Bruce Lee Clone Theorists consider his best movie, THE GREATEST HONG KONG HERO (1982).

• Gorgonzolee was Yuen Wing, the lead in THE GOUDA, THE BLEU & THE ULLOA (1978).  He had strong kung-fu skills and a warm smile.  He starred alongside Bambi Lee (More on her coming soon) in 1976’s MY LITTLE SISTER, MY BODYGUARD and 1979’s THE NEW FACE OF KUNG FU aka A FORCE OF NONE.

⦁ Brie Lee who appeared in ENTER THE ONE-ARMED CHEESEMAKER (1976) and its sequel RETURN OF THE ONE -ARMED CHEESEMAKER (1977), seemed destined for clone stardom, but left the movie business to work at a Hickory Farms store in Atlanta, Georgia.

• Rumors of CHEESE WIZ LEE have never been substantiated.