In Praise of Bertrum "Bert" Palmer

 

Bertrum “Bert” Palmer was a regional film maker based out of Dallas, Texas.  He is largely forgotten, so we would like to shed some light on his career, brief as it was, to hopefully spark more interest in his work.

During and after high school Palmer worked odd jobs at KTVT, a VHF television station where both his parents were employed. Over the next few years, he learned the ropes while attending a local community college and joined the film society, which opened his eyes to the vast world of cinema.  He then started to write and direct short films with his friends for a few years, and creating these became his passion.

Then in 1972, tragedy struck twice, his mother passed away due to acute Noxzema poisoning.  Distraught with the intense grief over the love of his life, Palmer's father hooked up with a "long in the tooth" burlesque dancer and hit the road to manage her career.

After seeing a rerelease of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968) Palmer was inspired to make his own horror film.

Shot in 16mm on an eighteen-thousand-dollar budget under the title SHOP CLASS PSYCHO, it was made around the same time -Summer of 1973- as its far more famous Lone Star counterpart, THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE (1974). The production went smoothly, and although the film is rough in many aspects—acting, sound, lighting, plot, and direction—Palmer was satisfied with the final result.

PLOT: Students in the eccentric Mr. Carson’s shop class start turning up dead with their skin shaved off with a planer.  Detectives are zeroing in on Mr. Carson as the prime suspect, but could the real culprit be his twin brother, who just escaped from a mental institution?

After completing the film, Palmer tried to land a distribution deal, but naturally, all the offers heavily favored the distributors.  He eventually went with Whitford Film Distributors & Farm Supply, a company that had previously only dealt in pornography and seed drills.  Whitford explained they were aiming to break out of the “porno ghetto” by moving into horror and general action films.  Shortly after Whitford filed bankruptcy and all of their assists, including the SHOP CLASS PSYCHO film negative and a warehouse full of manure spreaders were frozen.  Palmer was distrait and helpless, as he had to wait for things to run their course.

Not letting the delay in the release of SHOP CLASS PSYCHO get him down, Palmer went into production of his second and last horror film.

But before we get to that. . .

Fast forward two years, when in a bankruptcy sale, Forest Farm Equipment purchased all of Whitford's assists including the negative or SHOP CALL PSYCHO along with dozens of porno movie prints.  Forest Farm Equipment wasn't interested in the movie business, so they sold all of the film related materials to Aloysious Films, who struck ten prints of SHOP CLASS PSYCHO, but changed the title to THE PLANO PLANER MASSACRE to jump on the still popular TEXAS CHANSAW MASSACRE.

This was all unbeknownst to Palmer, as the re-titled film never played in Texas and he busy editing stage of his second horror feature THE A CAPELLA MURDERS (1978).

PLOT:  Somebody is killing the not-so-great barber shop quartets of Texas during a weekend jamboree. 

Audience enjoyment might depend on their love for barbershop music, since the film showcases performances of "Ain’t She Sweet," "Coney Island Baby," and four versions of "Oh You Beautiful Doll!"

The featured quartets are The Four Lazy Lads, The Tone Deaf Four and The Four Dill Weeds.

His sophomore effort is stronger in every aspect, with improved direction, performances, and an effective original soundtrack.  

Much like his directorial debut, the release of THE A CAPELLA MURDERS was delayed for two years, and when it finally came out, it was mostly limited to random screenings on double or triple bills and late-night shows.

Feed up and dejected, Bertrum “Bert” Palmer stepped away from the film business, spending a few years drifting before opening and running a successful pest control company, which he managed until his passing in 2017.