“Don’t hire a non-cannibal to direct a cannibal film”
This is a famous quote from Italian movie producer Aldo Capitani.
Capitani wanted to jump on the third world cannibal craze of the late 70’s. He had mainly been a producer of sexy comedies, FORTUNE FAVORS THE SEXY (1975), UN SEGRETARIO PRIVATO PER UN DISTURBO PUBBLICO (1976) aka A PRIVATE SECRETARY FOR A PUBLIC NUISANCE (1976), FOTOGRAFO SEXY CON UNA VITA AMOROSA SFOCATA (1976) aka SEXY PHOTOGRAPHER WITH AN OUT OF FOCUS LOVE LIFE (1977) aka SHUTTERBUG SEX (US video release title) and UN'ISOLA DI PERVERTITI ATTENDE LE VERGINI NAUFRAGATE (1978) aka AN ISLAND OF PERVERTS AWAITS THE SHIPWRECKED VIRGINS aka PERVERT LAGOON (US video release title).
His first foray into the cannibal genre was 1978’s LOST AMONG THE CANNIBALS aka KNEE DEEP AMONG THE CANNIBALS which was written and directed by old timer Vincenzo D’Amico, who had mostly helmed Sword and Sandal and western films. ERIK THE INVINCIBAL (1962), FURY OF THE GLADIATORS (1963), DUE WINCHESTER PER UN UOMO CON UN BRACCIO SOLO (1965) aka TWO WINCHESTERS FOR A ONE ARMED MAN (1965), GUNFIGHTER WITH THE LAZY EYE (1967). LA VENDETTA È UN PIATTO SERVITO FREDDO, CON CONTORNO DI INSALATA E ZUPPA (1970) aka VENGEANCE IS A DISH SERVED COLD, WITH A SIDE SALAD AND SOUP. His most notable efforts are a pair of Westerns shot back-to-back in 1968, with the same cast, crew and script, HERE COMES LARAMIE SLIM, THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD and HERE COMES LARAMIE SLIM, YOUR PARTY IS OVER aka HERE COMES LARAMIE SLIM, YOUR POSSE IS OVER.
Capatani had worked with D’Amico in the past and had persuaded him to come out of retirement to write and direct LOST AMONG THE CANNIBALS, which turned out to be a dud. More an old-fashioned jungle adventure than a true gut munching cannibal film, the film was shot in Italy and doesn't even have any stock footage of animal killings that fans of the genre know and love. D’Amico did not have the right stuff to write and direct a violent cannibal film and in his haste to get the film into theaters, Capatani just released the finished product.
Capatani wanted to do the cannibal genre right, so he and two co-producers flew to Columbia to search for and meet up with a genuine tribe of cannibals. His goal was to find a cannibal screenwriter and cannibal director, using real cannibals to play their parts instead of hiring a handful of local ragazzos dolled up in ridiculous face paint. . . What could go wrong?
After four days of travel upriver in the Amazon rainforest, which included many death-defying close calls with Jaguar, piranha, green anaconda and a particularly persistent rogue Amway salesman, the Italian contingent had made it to the cannibal compound.
They felt that they were prepared for any contingency that may come up, but they never imagined that they would run into a cannibal agent/lawyer. The agent turned out to be a hardheaded, tough contract negotiator. Capatani had expected to walk away with his cannibal crew for a few hundred Lira and a shrunken head or two.
Capatani was a devout diary writer. His diary was found by a rescue squad sent to find the missing filmmakers.
3, March 1979.
After many hardships we have finally arrived at the land of the cannibals. Our guide Chaco will act as our interpreter with the cannibals.
4, March 1979
This is the first time that the cannibals have seen white men. They are curious, but not threatening. We meet with the village elders. Chaco tells us that they are keen to have a movie made on their land as they feel that it could give a boost to tourism in the area.
5, March 1979
We dine on a hearty meat stew that the cannibals cooked in a big pot. . . They insist that it was not human flesh. I purchased 5,000 Lira worth of skin care products from an Amway salesman. He promises that a particular skin cream will shave at least ten years off of my looks.
6, March 1979
Another fruitful day with some movement in pay.
Before bed, my location scout, Giovanni asked me, "Who I felt that the real savages are? I look at him, without blinking and said, “Those fuckers out there eating human flesh are the savages, we are filmmakers." What a stupid question.”
11, March 1979
The cannibal screenwriter presents his first draft of the script to us. I’m looking forward to reading it.
12, March 1979
Chaco tells me that the cannibal screenwriter is none too pleased with my script change suggestions. Chaco relays to me that the cannibal screenwriter was offended by my notes and wanted to impale me on a sharpened wood pole, which would enter up through my anus, go through my body and protrude out of my mouth. I took this as a bad sign and begged off the script changes.
13, March 1979
Casting begins. The cannibals are chomping at the bit to be in front of the camera. We have casting completed, when the cannibal village elder tells Chaco that he wants his daughter to have a major part in the movie. Nothing changes.
16, MARCH 1979
Chaco has disappeared and has been missing for two days. I am dreadfully worried. The cannibals are looking at us intently and rubbing their bellies. I now wish that I stayed back in Rome and made another sex comedy.
Along with the diary, a camera was found, the majority of the shots were location pictures, but there was one that stood out.
A picture of what is believed to be the cannibal screenwriter during a script conference.
Rumor has it that he is now a successful real estate agent based in Santa Monica.
