In Praise of Torben Fritsch

    

The Germans get a bad rap for not having good senses of humor, what with starting World War II, and introducing the world to Zungenwurst, it is an unfortunate side effect of the quest for world domination and inedible foods that has overshadowed a plethora of funny stuff.  The "Weird Guy" series of West German sex comedies boasts lots of laughs, albeit of a lower than low-brow type.  

The unnamed Weird Guy is a mute stooge, who finds himself always surrounded by buxom ladies and ridiculous sexual situations.  Picture a cross between Chaplin's Tramp character and Pee Wee from PORKY'S (1981).  

Every time the weird guy is about to get down with a lovely Fraulein something happens to curtail his fun.  While making out in the hay, he gets poked in the ass by a doddering farmer wielding a pitchfork.  A stampede of sheep.  A bee's nest . . .  It seems as though man, beast and nature are against our little hero getting lucky.  But it is not only the weird guy who tries to get some action, as several local dudes try to get it on with the ladies with similar abysmal results.

The movie was filmed in Glücksburg, Germany, initially with the cooperation of the entire citizenry, but for all promotional items the name of the town was changed due to the insistence of the same citizens, as they thought that the movie portrayed the locals as moronic country folk who only had sex on their minds.  So, the second "U" was changed to an E, and the umlaut on the first U was positioned underneath. 

Director Rolph Brummer was dubbed the "König der Deutschen Sexfilme", by himself.  He directed forty-three of them commencing with 1970's IHR GELIEBTER, DER NARR, aka HER LOVER, THE FOOL and ending with 1985's JUNGFRAU AUS MÜNCHEN.

Some of his better ones in between are PARIS AUF DREI MÄDCHEN AM TAG, aka PARIS ON THREE GIRLS A DAY (1973), OLGA'S ALPINE ADVENTURE (1974), LEDERHOSEN AND CHAMPAGNE FOR BREAKFAST (1977) SCHÜLERINNEN, DIE ES BESSER HÄTTEN WISSEN MÜSSEN (1978), aka SCHOOLGIRLS THAT SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER and 1982's BLUE LIGHT LADY IN THE RED-LIGHT DISTRICT.

Torben Fritsch plays the titular tit fiend, a five foot nothing, club-footed, subhuman, sexual dynamo, doffing a Tyrolean hat.  Fritsch was apparently exactly like his character in real life, except he didn't wear hats.  Fritsch tried to lay every female member of the cast and crew; also, a male member or two, plus a sheep on one particular Dunkelweizen fueled farm escapade.  He was truly beloved by all.  Noted for being rather generous, he would give someone the shirt off of his back. . . and his pants, his underwear.  Plus, a sock stuffed in one's mouth if he really took a shine to you.  He lent his talents to two other films, HOW MUCH TROUBLE CAN A GIRL GET INTO? (1975) aka WIE VIEL ÄRGER KANN EIN MäDCHEN BEKOMMEN? and THE GIRL WITH THE WONDERFUL BUM (1976) aka DAS MÄDCHEN MIT DEM WUNDERBAREN HINTERN. 

 

The other two Weird Guy films are, DER SELTSAME TYP VON HEIDELBERG aka THE WEIRD GUY OF HEIDELBERG (1976) and THE WEIRD GUY URLAUB IM RHEINTAL aka THE WEIRD GUY HOLIDAYS AT THE RHINE VALLEY (1979).  Neither of these two sequels were directed by Rolph Brummer, nor featured Fritsch, and both movies combined don't have a quarter of the laughs, charm and uneasy sexual situations bordering on the criminal that the original has.

Sadly, Torben Fritsch passed away in a barnyard mishap, involving a pony, a jar of apfelkraut and a picture of Otto Von Bismarck.

In Praise of Roland A. Rippy

 

Roland A. Rippy’s movie career was brief, as he just appeared in three movies.  His main claim to any fame that he may have had, was that he was a master practitioner of the samurai sword, in fact, he would bill himself as, "The Round Eye Samurai".

Rippy's first role was small, but memorable, as a sword wielding mafia goon in the 1976 crime movie, THE RENO CONNECTION (1975).

PLOT:  Small time hood, Blackie Turner, has twenty-four hours to travel from Albuquerque, NM., make a sizable narcotics pick up in Las Vegas, then make the Reno Connection for the final payoff and a life of prosperity out of the country, before the mob can catch him.

Rippy has three scenes, the first is an introductory scene, where the mob boss introduces the two manhunters that he has hired to find Blackie, to each other.  Both named Remson.  

The second, when they are pulled over by a motorcycle cop, and the final action fight scene with Blackie.  Rippy has no lines in the movie, but his skills with the sword are easily apparent.

Blackie Turner was played by first and last timer Brice McDonald.  McDonald does well as the hunted and harried drug courier.  He passed away in 1981 due to an odd murder/suicide, in which he was the only participant.

The producers of THE RENO CONNECTION, Gold Bar Films, concocted a gimmick to lure movie goers into seeing the film by having giveaways available only to ticket holders.

Gold Bar Films hired Rippy to play a part in their next production, BLAST, BABY BLAST! (1977) aka STAND BY YOUR MAN.

PLOT:  Jennie Lee Pickle was raised in a family of soldiers.  She grew up around weapons and was taught how to use them by her father, uncle (Rippy, who teaches her swordplay) and brothers.  In fact, a nifty flashback montage shows her, in pigtails and camouflage, blowing up her doll house with a hand Granade.  After she marries and moves to a small town in Texas, trouble begins to brew.  Some local leather jacketed toughs, who work at a cannery plant, beat up her husband to within an inch of his life.  While he is laid up in a hospital in traction, Jennie dusts off the goodies in her hope chest and commences a solo search and destroy mission to create some job openings at the cannery.

Gold Bar Films enticed theater goers with the chance of winning more goodies.

Roland A. Rippy enjoyed his time making THE RENO CONNECTION and BLAST, BABY BLAST!. He signed up for screenwriting classes and penned a dozen action scripts, which he wrote for the fun of it, with no ambition to sell.  He opened up his own gym, Knives’ Edge Self-Defense Club, where, for a nominal fee, he would teach students how to defend themselves against attackers using various types of bladed instruments: swords, butterfly knives, machetes, cleavers and cheese graters.

It wouldn’t be till 1979 that he returned to the big screen.  Rippy wrote, produced and had his only starring role in his final movie, AMERICAN SWORDSMAN (1979).  Billing and promoting his character as a “Billy Jack for the 80’s!”  

PLOT: Nelson Parks, a Vietnam veteran, who has spent a few years after the war honing his craft, training with martial artists in the Philippines, returns to his hometown for his father’s funeral.  It turns out that his father and brother had a long running feud with Mr. Drake, the town boss.  Mr. Drake wants Parks’ family land and will revert to any lowly means necessary to get it.

Rippy does not make for an interesting lead.  He mumbles his lines and is as wooden and uninteresting as a picnic table without a gingham.  

Rippy would travel with the film and appear at drive in theaters demonstrating his skills in between features.  Here, he would be more in his element.

AMERICAN SWORDSMAN had little appeal at the box office, but reportedly did well with its Namibian VHS release - under the title, WIT OU MET SKERP SWAARD aka WHITE GUY WITH A SHARP SWORD- in 1983, but by this time Roland A. Rippy left the entertainment business for good; he would move to Wyoming to become a survivalist, where he would pass away a week after the move.

This was Bob Martins first job as an editor.  He would go on to cut dozens of films, his last being HOWLING XI:  YOUR DOORMAN IS A WEREWOLF (2005).  In which, a young businesswoman, new to the big city, has to deal with the male chauvinist attitudes of co-workers and a lycanthropic doorman sniffing around her panties.